What do I mean by easygoing? To me, easygoing means welcoming the pleasant moments and the unpleasant moments in life with the same openness and flexibility. It means honoring what is personally fulfilling, not just our obligations. It means being motivated by inspiration rather than fear of failure.
If only it were as easy as its name implies! What makes easygoing so hard is that it threatens the mission of the monkey mind, which is to keep us safe. Here are the kinds of conversations I’ve been having during my quest for easygoing.
Me: I want to be more open and present for the pleasant moments of life and ride out the unpleasant ones with ease and flexibility.
Monkey mind: Open and present? That sounds like unprepared. If you can’t predict and plan for what might go wrong, you are vulnerable and at risk.
Me: I want to have more time and energy to pursue things that are personally fulfilling.
Monkey mind: Personally fulfilling? This sounds like selfishness to me. If you let go of your obligations and responsibilities to others you will let them down, and they will be angry with you and abandon you.
Me: I want to be motivated by inspiration, not fear, allowing for more creativity, flow and enjoyment of my pursuits.
Monkey mind: Discipline is much safer and more predictable than inspiration. You can’t trust inspiration. For one thing it may not come and for another it may be really stupid, and you will make a fool out of yourself.
Thinking and acting for myself, and not the monkey is scary. But with the promise of more peace, presence, flexibility, authenticity, freedom, creativity and pleasure at stake, I’ve decided it’s worth it! If you agree, I invite you to help me research for 90 Days to Easygoing, by joining an online practice group for those of us in pursuit of easygoing. Each week will explore a different aspect of easygoingness, and include simple, manageable exercises that encourage us to risk a little to gain a lot. Each day Monday-Friday there will be an email with the practice for that day, and there will be in a private online discussion forum where you’ll be able to anonymously share your experiences with other participants, and read about theirs as well. If you’re interested, just sign-up here!
The 90 Days to Easygoing practice group will begin on Monday February 5, 2018, I look forward to doing this process with you!
How easygoing are you? Find out in my Easygoing Quiz!